What to Expect at a Restraining Order Hearing

By Veronica T. Barton, California domestic violence defense attorney and creator of DEFEAT the DVRO

The short answer

Figure out where you will park ahead of time, and arrive at least 30 minutes early, because you have to go through security and the line can be extremely long. Plan to spend the whole day at the courthouse, stay far away from the petitioner, and stay calm and polite to everyone, no matter what. The petitioner goes first, then you ask questions if you have them prepared, then you present your case, and then the judge makes a decision. If the judge decides in your favor, get a minute order before you leave.

Before the day: figure out where you will park

If you have a domestic violence restraining order hearing coming up, you may be wondering what to expect that day. You're in luck, because I will explain exactly that and add some tips.

The first big tip, which I learned as a new attorney trying to navigate downtown Los Angeles, is to figure out ahead of time where you will park. Especially in a major metropolitan area, some courthouses do have their own parking, but many don't. Bring cash in case the parking is cash only or the credit card machine is broken. Prepare for all of that ahead of time, because the last thing you want is to show up at the courthouse thinking you're ready and then wonder, "Where am I supposed to park?"

Arrive at least 30 minutes early

Arrive at least 30 minutes early for your hearing. Thirty minutes is not early. Going to court is not like going to a normal office building or any other establishment, except maybe the airport, because you have to go through security. Sometimes the line is extremely long, so get there early to get through it.

Here is another tip. Don't be late. If you are running late, go to your courthouse's website, find out which department you're supposed to be in, call the number for that department, and tell them you're running late. Let them know you're outside and in line, and it will be okay.

Find your courtroom and your number

Once you get past security, find your courtroom. Check for a list outside of the courtroom. There might be a bulletin board, or the list might be taped up to the left or to the right of the door. Every courthouse is different, and some courtrooms might not have one, especially if you're there very early. But if there is one, check it and find your case.

Look to the left of your case for a number. It is not your very long case number. The bailiff or the clerk may ask you for that number, so find it.

Plan to spend the whole day

You may see that there are 30 cases on the list and you're number two. You might be thinking, "Perfect, I'll get out of here pretty early." That may not be the case. In most courtrooms, they call the really short matters first, and the longer cases end up going into the afternoon. Plan to spend the whole day there, because it may be necessary, especially for restraining orders.

When they tell you to be there at 8:30, they're telling 30 other cases to be there at 8:30 too, so maybe 60 other people, or more with witnesses. At the very most, one case gets called at 8:30, because it usually takes a little while for everybody to check in and for the court to start calling the cases.

Where to sit: stay far away from the petitioner

Once you've looked for the list and found your number, or there is no list, find a seat away from the petitioner, especially if you're the respondent. If you're the person responding to the restraining order, you're the respondent. If you're the one who filed the petition, you're the petitioner.

Stay far away from the petitioner. You wouldn't believe the number of incidents that occur in the hallway, which people then tell the judge or the bailiff about. Don't put yourself in a position to be accused of anything. Don't give the petitioner the stink eye. If the petitioner has witnesses, keep clear of them as much as you can.

Check in with the bailiff and stay polite to everyone

As I said, every courtroom is different. The bailiff will give you instructions on that particular courtroom's procedure for checking in. Sometimes you'll have to write down your name on a list. Sometimes you'll go up and talk to the clerk. Sometimes there is an additional procedure. For example, if there is a commissioner instead of a judge, you might have to sign something, or you might get moved to another courtroom. Follow whatever the bailiff says.

Keep in mind that the bailiff, the clerk of the court, the court reporter, the judge, and everybody else in the courtroom are all co-workers. They're probably friends. They're in there all the time, and they talk about people who do unusual or rude things.

They themselves may act unusual or rude to you. In fact, the bailiffs or the clerks are very frequently rude to you. Do not react. Stay calm no matter what, because being rude back to them will only look bad for you. The judge will find out. Maintain a calm demeanor. Be so polite to everyone.

Waiting for your case to be called

Before COVID, everyone who had a case could sit in the courtroom. It would be really crowded, but everybody would sit in there and wait until their case was called. We're now post-COVID, and depending on which courtroom you're in, sometimes they'll have you wait in the hallway and sometimes they'll have you come into the courtroom.

If they have you waiting in the hallway, someone will come and get you when it's time for your case to be called. Wait there patiently. It may be a very long time. Don't ask the bailiff how much longer.

When your case is called

When your case is called, go up to the table. In front of the judge's bench, there will be two tables. In restraining order courtrooms, at least every single one I've seen throughout the state of California, there are labels on them, like name tags. One will say petitioner and one will say respondent. If you're the petitioner, the one who filed the petition, go to the petitioner table. If you're the respondent, go to the respondent table.

The clerk will swear you in by having you raise your right hand and agree that you're going to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God. You'll say, "I do."

The petitioner goes first

Once the proceeding begins, the judge will tell the petitioner, "Petitioner, present your case," or "Petitioner, go ahead." The petitioner will go first. If they don't have an attorney, they will have to present their evidence in the form of a narrative. They'll say mostly what they wrote in their request for a restraining order: "This is the abuse that occurred. Here's the proof that I have. Here's why I want a restraining order."

Your chance to ask the petitioner questions

After they present their case, you will have the chance to ask them questions. If you have questions prepared in advance, ask them. Do not try to come up with questions on the spot, especially if you don't have any proof to back them up. If you're not prepared to ask questions, then I suggest not asking any. Instead, address the issues that are untrue in your own testimony.

The petitioner's witnesses will go next. After each witness presents their side, you will get to ask questions.

Step 3 of DEFEAT the DVRO covers preparing your testimony, presenting it, and handling being cross-examined.

Your turn to present your case

After all the petitioner's witnesses go, it's your turn to present your case. You will probably be pretty riled up at that point. You've just heard terrible things about yourself, probably some lies, and you will probably be unhappy. Maintain a calm demeanor, present your case, present your evidence, and call your witnesses. Again, that's easier said than done, especially the way I'm summarizing it here.

Closing arguments

After you're done, it's time for closing arguments. Sometimes the judge will not ask if there are any closing arguments, and sometimes the judge will ask, "Does anybody want to be heard? Petitioner, would you like to be heard? Respondent, do you have anything else?" If you have a closing argument prepared, that is the time to give it.

I've never seen a closing argument done successfully on the spot by someone who's representing themselves, so I recommend not attempting it.

As an attorney, I've been doing this for over 10 years now, and even I write out notes. I have a format that I use for my closing arguments, but I still write out notes ahead of time. I wouldn't want to stand up there and say the first thing that comes to my head. If it were my own personal case, and somebody were filing a restraining order against me, and I were upset, there's no way I would do that.

Either prepare it in advance, know what you're going to say, and make sure it's good, or do not do it at all.

The judge's decision: stay calm either way

The judge will then make their decision. Sometimes judges take time to make their decisions, but for restraining orders they typically tell you right there exactly what they decide.

No matter what the judge does, stay calm. If the judge decides against you, stay calm. If the judge decides for you, stay calm. Do not assume this is the last time you will see this judge and burn your bridge. If you have issues related to custody, for example, you might end up in front of this judge again. You don't know, so absolutely do not burn that bridge. Remain calm, remain respectful.

If you lose the hearing

If you lose the restraining order hearing, you'll be asked to stay and wait for a copy of the new order, the extended order, which is called the permanent domestic violence restraining order. If that happens, follow their instructions and be respectful, no matter what.

If you win the hearing: get a minute order

If you won the restraining order hearing, here is what I suggest. The restraining order only goes until the actual hearing, but you may be thinking, "I want to go pick up my kids now. I want to go see my dog. I want to go back home." Whatever you plan to do later that day, get what's called a minute order to be ultra careful.

You can obtain this from the clerk at court. If it's a busy day, they may make you wait for a while. The minute order will say that the restraining order is dissolved.

If there are any problems, such as the petitioner calling the police later that day and saying, "He took the kids. He took the dog," you want something from the court to show the police. Otherwise they may get confused and think, "It says it goes until today's date, and we're still on that date, so is it valid?"

The last thing you want is to get arrested and have to post bail, which you'll never get back, over a mistake the police made. I recommend staying and getting a copy of that minute order if you won.

Frequently asked questions

How early should I get to the courthouse for my restraining order hearing?

Arrive at least 30 minutes early. Thirty minutes is not early, because you have to go through security and the line can be extremely long. Figure out where you will park ahead of time, and bring cash in case the parking is cash only or the credit card machine is broken.

How long will I be at court on the day of the hearing?

Plan to spend the whole day. In most courtrooms they call the really short matters first and the longer cases go into the afternoon, so even if you are number two on the list, you may not get out early.

Where should I sit, and what if the petitioner is there?

Find a seat away from the petitioner and stay far away. Many incidents occur in the hallway, and people tell the judge or the bailiff about them, so don't put yourself in a position to be accused of anything. Don't glare at the petitioner, and keep clear of their witnesses.

What order does a restraining order hearing go in?

The petitioner goes first. After they present their case, you have the chance to ask them questions. The petitioner's witnesses go next, and you can ask questions after each one. Then it is your turn to present your case, present your evidence, and call your witnesses, and then it is time for closing arguments.

Should I give a closing argument if I haven't prepared one?

I have never seen it done successfully on the spot by someone who is representing themselves. Either prepare it in advance, know what you are going to say, and make sure it is good, or do not do it at all.

What should I do if I win my restraining order hearing?

Stay calm and respectful, and stay to get a minute order from the clerk. It will say that the restraining order is dissolved, so you have something from the court to show the police if the petitioner calls them later that day.